Food
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Food |
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We love Kings Island with its coasters, thrill rides, water park, stores, kiddieland and landscaping. But no park is perfect, and we have an obligation to our readers to report the Truth. Here's the Truth : Kings Island has the worst food of any major park in the Midwest. They have ice cream, soft drinks and deep fried junk food. But if you want anything green or heart healthy, or noncarbonated beverage, you're in trouble. And KI food is seriously overpriced. There's no reason for this. Amusement parks can offer good food at reasonable prices. Dollywood, Kennywood, Holiday World and Indiana Beach have achieved their high ranking in part due to their food. When it first opened, Kings Island did much better. It began deteriorating when Paramount took over, and has gotten worse under Cedar Fair. Since food is no better at Cedar Point, Carowinds or Michigan Adventure, we must conclude that Cedar Fair has absolutely no interest in providing good food at reasonable prices. So we'll try to guide you through the food options, but realize this is the weakest aspect of the park and options are limited. |
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The biggest disaster at Kings Island is Fest Haus. This was originally a very good German restaurant, with a classic German menu, German beers, and hearty German entertainment. The high ceilings kept the dining hall cool on hot days. Dinner at Fest Haus was a highlight of each visit to the park. This situation began eroding under Paramount and is now totally gone. The German menu has been discarded in favor of a fried buffet (chicken tenders, cheeseburgers, french fries) along one side and a very poor Chinese fast food counter on the other. Accordions and sousaphones are replaced by country music. The old German beers have been replaced by bucket sized soft drinks (you can't get a small). Prepackaged salads consist of wilted lettuce, melted cheese and stale sausage discs. The fried foods are awful, produced by teenagers who have no idea how to cook on a grille. These are the worst french fries in the Cincinnati area. And the prices are insulting. It is common for a family of three to be charged $35 for a burger and fries for one child and a salad each for two adults, plus three drinks. Kings Island should subcontract this building out to Hofbrauhaus or another German restaurant company. Cincinnati has one of the nation's great German heritages. It deserves better than Fest Haus. |
| At the other extreme is Rivertown Junction. This is the only place in the park where you can get a sit down, traditional restaurant meal of entree, salad, vegetables and decent beverages. The meats, vegetables and salads are very good and the coffee is usually pretty good. Our problems with Rivertown Junction are the format and the schedule. They serve this good food as an all you can eat buffet for $16 per person. At an amusement park, this is ridiculous. It takes away everyone's flexibility. For lunch, or a mid afternoon break, people might want a few vegetables or a bowl of soup, a salad and perhaps a cup of coffee. But No, that's not possible. It's All Or Nothing. And to make it worse, Rivertown Junction closes at 6 pm. Hellooo? That's Dinner Time. At a park staying open til after dark, where many people, including many season ticket holders, don't even arrive until 5 or 5:30, closing the only decent restaurant at 6 is worse than Incompetence. It's Arrogance. It says Cedar Fair has no interest whatsoever of serving the needs of customers. So we give Rivertown Junction an A for Food and an F for Customer Service. |  |
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The famous Jared campaign where a grossly overweight guy lost 245 of his 425 pounds by eating all his meals at Subway for a year was humorous but also accurate. They brag about their eight basic sandwiches containing six grams of fat or less. Of that array, we love their Black Forest Ham, Chicken Teriyaki, and Oven Roasted Chicken. You control your ingredients, but your choices are vegetables, freshly made breads, and fatless cuts of meat. If you do want to add a little cholesterol to your diet, there are Meatball Marinara, Philly Cheese Steak, and eight other alternatives. Subway isn't into teas, soups, desserts or other menu items. You can construct a salad from the veggie sandwich ingredients but that's about it. However, if you just want a great basic sandwich, Subway is your place. The only Subway in the park is between Monster and the Racer entrance along the Coney Mall. |
| Skyline Chili is one of those Cincinnati foods out of towners just have to try. It isn't like any other Chili you've ever tasted. For starters, it's sweet. Second, according to what part of the country you're from, you may conclude that it's not pure Chili at all but Spaghetti covered with Meat Sauce, Shredded Cheddar Cheese, Onions and Red Beans. The unique flavor of the Meat Sauce comes from the cocoa and cinammon they mix into it. The layer of Cheese is quite thick. Most Cincinnatians stir and mix these ingredients around into a sort of thick soup. It definitely tastes good, it's filling, and it's priced reasonably. If you're not used to it, it has a way of gurgling in your stomach, especially if you're riding coasters or thrill rides. The Meat Sauce is kind of soupy and the Spaghetti is slightly undercooked. It's also heavy on Salt, which is odd, considering the clearly sweet taste. They also serve Coneys (hot dogs topped with mustard, meat sauce and onions) and Wraps which are very good. Coney Mall and International Mall. |  |
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Starbuck's is not really a restaurant but a gourmet coffee shop with chocolate chip cookies, beignets, donuts, bagels and other nonsugary snack items. Given the number of people who visit a Starbuck's back home every day, an introduction hardly seems necessary, but in case you've been stationed in Antarctica for the last decade, realize that Starbuck's is famous for flavored coffees, cappucinos, frappacinos, teas, and hot chocolates. These are pretty expensive drinks, but they're very, very good, especially since you can't get decent coffee anywhere else in the park. International Mall by the Eiffel Tower. |
| LaRosa's was given the Pizza franchise for Kings Island, because it's a longtime local favorite but we're not impressed. Instead of relying on good Roma tomatoes to give their sauce flavor, LaRosa's just adds sugar. You don't get much sauce (or cheese) anyway. The Pizza tends to be flavorless, floury, thin crust, with sweet slightly spicy tomato sauce and a remarkably bland Provolone instead of Mozzarello cheese. The Pepperoni is basic Hormel. If the Pizza is fresh out of the oven it's reasonably edible, but it cools into a rubbery slab. And Cincinnatians love it. How can this be? The answer is LaRosa's was created in the 1950s when Pizza was first reaching the Midwest and no one knew what it was supposed to taste like. So LaRosa's became the early standard. Now, even though there are hundreds of other Pizzerias offering far better Pizza at far better prices, LaRosa's is "Cincinnati's Own," and provokes all sorts of nostalgic associations in people who remember it from when they were kids. So if you're from out of town and you want to see what classic Cincinnati pizza tastes like, by all means try LaRosa's. If you like Microwave pizza, you may even like it. Fortunately, they serve other items and they're much better than the Pizza. Try a Hoagie, Calzone, Spaghetti & Meatballs, Ravioli or Lasagna. |  |
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The Juke Box Diner was a Kings Island classic when they had 1950s hot rods parked outside and a 50s menu inside. Cedar Fair removed the cars and downgraded the food to just another version of its generic deep fried menu (burgers, chicken tenders, fries and onion rings). The milkshakes are pretty good and it's worth a brief stop to sip one and check out the decor. The fries and onion rings are the best in the park. Coney Mall across from Shake, Rattle & Roll. There's a small patio where you can sit under the umbrellas and watch the Swings, Racer and Windseeker. |
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